Listen here, sugar

I have big eyes. Like, very large, very funky green eyes. Long eyelashes, and all that.

I have become the master of the Sad Puppy-Dog face. When combined with my little girl “pwease hewp me” voice, I can turn my husband into a complete puddle of mush, if I try hard enough. Although, sadly, I believe he has begun to catch onto my ruse, and it’s slightly less effective.

And that’s when we flaunt the boobies.

Well, hell, I never claimed to play fair.