Dr. Google’s Evil Sidekick

I found a lump on my breast.

If you are a woman, please tell me what part of that previous sentence doesn’t immediately scare the living be-jesus out of you.

If you are me, you will also instantly go on Google and further scare the crap out of yourself.

Luckily, I am nothing if not a logical and overtly optimistic person. So I gathered my information and came to the internet-informed diagnosis that it is a cyst. Just. A. Cyst.

Because, logically, only 2% of breast cancer cases fall within my age range, and I did breastfeed. My birth control pills show very few effects, and I simply do not want cancer. Period.

SO! Being the occasionally responsible adult that I am, I scheduled a appointment with my OB/GYN last Friday to get it checked out. She said she did notice a small lump, deep in the tissue. And set me up for an ultrasound at the hospital.

And Proceeds to tell me she once had a breast cancer case who was 25. TWENTY-FIVE!! I am 26, and I was alllllllll good to go, find my cyst, drain it, and be done.

BUT NO! Let us go and make me believe – well, it COULD be cancer!

Thank you. Asshole.