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Re-Gifting, The Wrong Way. March 12, 2009

Posted by Julie Momster in Uncategorized.
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Have you ever had someone re-gift?

You know, where you go out and find them a really thoughtful or useful gift, only to have them give it to someone else – or worse, back to yourself?

What we’re dealing with here is the most screwy “what the hell are you even THINKING?” example of re-gifting I have ever encountered.

Joanna (the mama-in-law) was given a breast pump. Not just a breast pump – the one-step-down from hospital grade, in it’s own nifty carrying bag, double electric piece of absolute wonderment. This was given to her by Deb, one of the other nurses she works with, to be used EXCLUSIVELY for the purpose of nutrition for all the Smiths grand-babies.

Naturally, it went to Erica first. Who used it for maybe a month or two, before leaving it (dirty) to sit in her closet until the arrival of Avi-Monster. At which point it was like pulling teeth to get her to take it from her closet and give it to me (not that she didn’t want to – although she is one of those people who is HORRIBLE with sharing – she was just too lazy to pull it out). Joanna eventually had to force her to go find it, and we finally received it a week or two before my maternity leave was over.

A little background on my sister-in-law: Erica is… special. Not “needs a helmet” special, just the kind where you have to be careful with everything you do or say around her because she will take it and twist it into some kind of offense, either to her or someone else. Doesn’t matter who. And she’s very possessive about things you really can’t be possessive about.

For example – Erica and her husband Eric (hahahaha, I know, I laughed too) got married on a beach while on a Disney Cruise to the Bahamas. Now in Erica’s mind this now means that NO ONE ELSE IN THE FAMILY is allowed to have either a Disney or a beach wedding. It would “rain on her parade”. She also, against advice from family members, including her mother who is a L&D NURSE, started giving her baby solid foods at about 2 months old – and would get pissed at anyone who tried to tell her that his stomach wasn’t ready for it.

Yeah. She’s that kind of person.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate her in any way, but she is Mother of All Drama Queens, and she starts most of the issues herself. Mikey’s cousin Megan is expecting her second baby in October – we are all waiting to see how long it takes before Erica is pregnant again. Case in point: As soon as Megan had her first baby, Erica stopped taking her BC pills and was pregnant 3 months later.

And the list goes on…

Her re-gifting error? Mistaking the Smith Grandbaby pump for her personal property. As in, I am still using this pump. I plan on BF’ing for at least 6 months to a year. I’m not even to 2 months yet.  And she told me she is giving it to someone else.

And then she tells me that she is giving the pump to Ashley, the baby-mama, who is due in May, and is NOT a member of the family. Even more so, Joanna is not a fan of Ashley. At all.

Why this bothers me is because this is not Erica’s property to give away. It’s not mine either, per se. But it is supposed to be in my possession until a new Smith baby is born and has need of it. Not whenever Erica decides she wants to take it back and give it to someone else. Which she also did with a baby swing they gave to us.

I’m sorry, but I’m going to get all belligerent for a second:


Do you want me coming to you, and saying “Hey, you know that gift I gave Jonathan? Yeah, I’m going to give it to my friend’s baby now.” Seriously, this is not how things work. Just because it was once in your possession, does not mean you own it for life. You wouldn’t go about handing down Jonathan’s clothes to one person, and then when they’re STILL USING THEM, decide to give them to someone else, would you? Maybe you would. That’s the problem.

Someone needs to teach you some COMMON SENSE and a little bit of how to SHARE.

Needless to say, since she is pretty much completely unreasonable when you try to, you know, reason with her – I’m going completely over her head and discussing this with Joanna. Mainly because this is just ridiculous, and secondly because I don’t feel like shelling out $300 for a new pump when I shouldn’t have to.

The word of the day: Laaaaaaaaaaaame.



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