Here, have a million dollars

When I was younger, say junior high/high school age, I had really bad insomnia. I would float in and out of consciousness for the entire night, eventually drifting off to sleep around 4 or 5 in the morning – only to wake at 6 for school. Now, there aren’t all that many things you can do at 4 in the morning. Especially when you live in a town the size of my pinkie, and do not have a driver’s license (how I skirted insomnia once I DID have a car is far more interesting, but nevertheless is a story for another day).

So I spent a lot of time thinking – usually things of no consequence, but I always seemed to come back to “What if I had 1/5/10/30 million dollars?”. At which point I would proceed to make detailed lists of whom all I wanted to bestow upon this wonderous gift, and how much were they worth to me.

As of right now, I am keeping $200,000 for my little family. I want a house, and a second car, and some money for the baby’s (eventual) college fund. From here we donate $200,000 to my dad, because I owe him AT LEAST this much for taking care of my expensive butt from the time I was born till I was about 23. $100,000 to my cousin/godmother for the same reason.

Okay. Half gone. Where to next…

Oh yeah! $50,000 each to my niece/goddaughter and nephew for school, or to slack off for a year in Europe, which ever is more appealing. $100,000 donated to the Public School System of Detroit, which has been ripped and blasted apart, ThankYouKwameKilpatrickYouBastard. $25,000 to each of my four brothers (although one of them will just spend it at the race track, but alas. ‘Tis not for me to decide how they spend their gifts.)

$800,000 down, $200,000 more to go.

We’ll do $20,000 for each of my 5 sibling-in-laws. Because they have more money to begin with (bastards – j/k).

And screw it – that last $100,000? Play-money. Mama’s going shopping.